How can I learn more about myself?

Obviously, every day of this human life is a learning experience. But sometimes I feel aggravated because I wish I know more about myself. There are so many things that I don't pay attention to. Sometimes my focus is so narrow that I don't see anything else. I hate that I'm that way but I'm not sure how you can make psychological changes. I think writing is definitely one of them.

After I knew Joe for a while, he started telling me things that about myself that I had never even realized. That scared me and irritated me because I felt evaded that I did not recognize these things myself. Last night we were talking and I decided to write some of them down bceuase after we talk I tend to forget everything he told me and made me realize. For one, I have trust issues and I'm not sure why. My trust is going to depend on the type of relationship I have with that person. And to be honest Joe has never done anything to make me distrust him. He has more issues with trust that I do, yet he's let go of his insecurities and he has full trust in me. I feel as if I almost don't deserve that. However, doesn't everybody have insecurities? Surely they do because insecurities are fears and everyone fears something. Anyhow, I think I made up some make-believe perception of Joe being this guy who isn't really interested in me and I shield myself incase he hurts me. So that's the reason I don't let myself fully trust him. It's more on my account than his.

Another thing he brought to my sight was the fact that I never think about things before I say them. That makes me feel so dumb lol. Why do I not think about things and think about how others would react to my words? Does that make me selfish? I will try to work on that as well.

I would like to try to be more open-minded and think about other peoples feelings but its all a struggle and its going to take time. I hope writing a blog like this will help lead me down the path I need to get there.

I have off from work tomorrow so that means a 3 day weekend! Mom is down so it will be nice to spend some time together. Then I work Monday and have the rest of the week off for Thanksgiving.

I'll write soon.